In Memory. . .

It's quiet in the house. My sisters have fallen asleep and so has my mom. I'm sitting here on my bed thinking about the past 2 days. Everything my whole family has been through, it doesn't seem real. Let me get you caught up.

It's been exactly one week since my Grandpa has died. On Saturday, August 23, 2008, my sister and I went to go cut our hair. While Crystal was cutting her hair, I got a phone call from my Dad telling me that my Grandpa had died, he wanted me to tell my Mom, but I just couldn't do it. Who makes a 15 year-old-boy tell his Mom that her Dad just died? No one should! After my Dad told her, she cried on my shoulder. I'll never forget that. That night, when my Mom and Dad came home, my Mom told my sisters and I that most of our aunts were there, then he passed away. But, he kept his eyes open because he wanted to seem like he was still awake because he was waiting for my Mom and my other aunt.

Everyone went to go see my Grandpa at the funeral home on Friday, but me. I had school. Yes, I know that I could have got out of school. But there was this big part of me that was afraid to go, that's why I told my mom not to pick me up from home and drive me there. I spent Friday home alone, happy, thanks to Retro. When my family came home at night, my sisters told me that there was a chance that I would have to carry the coffin in the ceremony. I was shocked. I don't know why, but I was really scared. Also since most of my family members went on Friday, they got their tears out.

Saturday morning came. I woke up and took a shower and put on my black outfit, spiked up my hair, and left with my sisters. When we got there, the place was really nice. The sun was shining, birds in the air, and pretty lakes with water shooting out. We went inside and after a few minutes my aunts told me that I had to pray for my Grandpa. I was really scared to see him. I walked up to the table and the coffin was behind it. I took the incent sticks and prayed. I wasn't wearing my glasses, but I could see his face. I couldn't believe it, my Grandpa was gone. I walked out of the room and sat down on the couch by the entrance. I started to cry, for the first time in 4 years, there were tears running down my face. It felt nice to be crying again after so long. For the rest of the day my sisters, my cousin, and I helped the guest sign in so that they could also visit my Grandpa.

Today was going to be the hardest day of all. It was confirmed that I was going to be one of the 6 boys to carry my Grandpa out of the church and to the creamatorium. We got to the funeral home around 9:50 and there were some guest already there. From 10 AM to 12 PM, guests just kept coming to visit my Grandpa. My family were meeting old friends and the kids were helping out. I decided to go in one last time to pray, and this time I didn't cry. It hit 12 PM, and everyone was told to go inside. One by one, my Grandpa's friends made a speech. Though I didn't fully understand it, I got the base of it. Then one of my aunts went up. Her speech was in full Vietnamamese, and I understood everyword of it. I started to tear up, because I could relate to her speech. Lying to my parents telling them that I'm going to go out to study when I'm really hanging out with my friends. I started to cry even more. Few more moments later, the whole family went up one by one to say goodbye to Grandpa. It got to the kids turn, and I saw his face. It has changed so much through the years, I couldn't help but cry. The man who used to give me crackers when I was a kid or the time when he would give me New Years money. . . was gone. I stood off to the side while everyone said their goodbye. I cried really badly. Then it was time to take the coffin out to the creamatorium.

My uncle and cousin Ho, was in the front. My cousin Andy and I were in the middle. Then my other cousin, Thomas, and cousin-in-law Hai, were in the back. We slowly brought the casket out. My sister Crystal and cousin, Priscilla, were holding the flowers which were in front of us. As we went outside, everyone followed. We slowly went to the creamatorium. Only family was allowed inside, and I chose to stay. The coffin was rising into the oven, as my aunts, uncles, cousins, sisters, and parents started to cry. I couldn't believe what was happening. I tried my best to hold my tears back, but I couldn't. The coffin went inside the oven and the door closed.


Sitting here, none of it feels real. It was just like a bad dream, but it wasn't. It happened and I have to face that. What I saw may have changed my life, but it was for the good. I feel a lot better and stronger now.

Weird, I'm tearing up. I need a tissue.